


In Incarnadine

by Melodic



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, way too many words about cereal, with my sincerest apologies to ridley scott
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 15:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20837945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melodic/pseuds/Melodic
Summary: Karkat's eyes are turning red. Brightly, stupidly, candy red.This was inevitable; All trolls eyes fill in with their blood color as they age. That doesn't mean he has to like it.





	In Incarnadine

Karkat's eyes were turning red.

It had been happening slowly for a while, the gray irises starting to get a little pink. But now, staring in the bathroom mirror, they were obviously, irrefutably, irrevocably, bright scarlet cherry candy red. It made his stomach turn. 

This was, of course, inevitable. Every troll's eyes filled in with their blood color as they got older. It used to keep him up late, when he was a kid; that no matter how well he hid things, it would be evident eventually. That growing up would betray him. He'd imagined getting stupid colored glasses when it happened, like Terezi and Sollux, even though he thought it was for tools. Or just plan on being such a legendary and respected threshecutioner by then that they'd simply have to accept him when the cat finally got out of the mucus sack. Really though, the idea had scared him. 

It didn't even really matter anymore. His blood color was public knowledge and he literally lived in a universe of his own creation. He was pretty sure that if another troll ever popped out of mother grub with his specific mutation, they'd be hailed as some kind of sacred omen or something and covered in accolades just for being hatched, the lucky fucker. 

Regardless, seeing it on himself was somehow deeply unsettling. He would've turned away from his reflection in disgust if it wasn't also sort of like watching a train wreck. He was contemplating the merits of never going outside again when his thoughts were interrupted. 

DAVE: yo karkat are we out of cereal again

Dave poked his head in the doorway, floating a few inches above the ground, like he always did. It gave one the impression of a floppy pool noodle, and also made him seem slightly taller than he actually was. It was a habit Karkat had noticed was peculiar to Dave. None of the other god tiers flew by default; even John, literally the wind guy, kept his feet firmly on the floor most of the time. It wasn't unusual to see Dave hovering while he stared aimlessly at the inside of the fridge, like he'd forgotten standing was an option.

DAVE: you gotta stop putting empty boxes back in the cupboard when you finish them dude  
DAVE: what are we fucking barbarians  
KARKAT: IT WASN'T EMPTY, THERE WAS SOME LEFT.  
DAVE: yeah like a quarter of a bowl maybe  
DAVE: all the fucking crumbly bits no one wants after all the real cereal is gone  
DAVE: you gave me false hope you piece of shit thats worse than just not having cereal  
DAVE: this is basically a war crime  
DAVE: holy shit dude your eyes are red  
KARKAT: FUCK YOU, I KNOW.  
KARKAT: I'M HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS HERE, JUST EAT SOMETHING ELSE.  
DAVE: are you ever not having one of those  
KARKAT: NO, AND AGAIN, FUCK YOU.  
DAVE: pretty sure youve been taking care of that dude  
KARKAT: YOU'RE HILARIOUS! I AM PRESENTLY LAUGHING SO HARD THAT SOME BIZARRELY VISCOUS ALIEN LIQUID IS EMERGING FROM MY FACE OPENINGS AND I AM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR IN MY OWN FILTH LIKE SOMETHING RECENTLY PUPATED. IT IS SO INCREDIBLY DISGUSTING THAT ALL NEARBY ONLOOKERS PROJECTILE VOMIT CONTINUOUSLY BEFORE COMMITTING GROUP SUICIDE VIA THE MOST PAINFUL METHODS AVAILABLE. THAT'S HOW FUNNY YOU ARE.  
DAVE: okay the unsanitary metaphors are happening so clearly youre like actually upset about this  
KARKAT: I AM NOT.  
DAVE: nah whenever you start describing elaborate fake scenarios with the nastiest shit possible thats a cry for help

Dave glided behind him and gently tried to put his hands on Karkat's shoulders in an attempt to guide him out of the bathroom like some kind of infuriatingly nice and attentive boyfriend, which clearly could not stand.

KARKAT: STOP IT, I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE, I'M GOING TO FUCKING STAND HERE AND CONTEMPLATE THE MISERY THAT HAS DEFINED MY FUTILE EXISTENCE SINCE THE DAY SOME SADISTIC DEITY TOOK IT UPON THEMSELVES TO CREATE ME FOR THEIR OWN AMUSEMENT.  
KARKAT: LOOK AT THIS CHUCKLEFUCK, THEY SAID. I BET HIS LIFE IS GOING TO BE A HILARIOUS CASCADE OF AGONY EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SECOND.  
KARKAT: WAIT, I FORGOT! THAT WAS ME! I'M THE SLIME BIOLOGIST WHO PUT MYSELF INTO EXISTENCE THROUGH A BRAINLESS TAUTOLOGICAL PROCESS! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!  
KARKAT: ARE YOU HEARING THIS? ISN'T THAT JUST PAR FOR THE **FUCKING** COURSE, MY LOVE? I AM THE ARCHITECT OF EVERY AWFUL THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME!  
DAVE: yeah thats great  
DAVE: i just figured wed find a better place for you to crisis than our half bath at three in the afternoon  
DAVE: chill we can go get breakfast or something  
KARKAT: I AM NOT GOING OUTSIDE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER.  
KARKAT: ALSO, HOW THE FUCK IS IT BREAKFAST AT THREE IN THE AFTERNOON?  
DAVE: because i woke up like an hour ago  
DAVE: therefore breakfast  
DAVE: fuckin obviously  
KARKAT: THAT'S NOT HOW THAT WORKS.  
DAVE: shhhhhh  
DAVE: lets go  
KARKAT: ABSOLUTELY NOT, SOMEONE MIGHT SEE ME LIKE THIS.  
DAVE: what your eyes  
KARKAT: IT'S HORRIBLE.  
DAVE: is this about getting visibly old or just because its red  
DAVE: im pretty sure literally everyone knows your blood color by now dude  
KARKAT: YEAH, BUT I DON'T NEED TO *BROADCAST* IT. IT'S NONE OF ANYONE'S FUCKING BUSINESS WHAT GOES ON IN MY CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM, AND CLEARLY THE UNIVERSE IS MOCKING ME BY PAINTING IT ON MY VISAGE FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD.  
DAVE: we made the universe  
KARKAT: YES, DAVE, AND ONLY A UNIVERSE OF MY OWN CREATION COULD HATE ME THIS MUCH. LOOK AT IT! IT'S AWFUL.

Dave leaned in until they were essentially nose to nose, personal space between them having ceased to exist as a concept long ago, and squinted carefully. Karkat held his breath.

KARKAT: ...WELL?  
DAVE: its just the iris dude its pretty small  
DAVE: i guess its kinda bright though  
KARKAT: I KNEW IT.  
DAVE: nah dude its fine i promise  
KARKAT: STOP LOOKING AT IT.  
DAVE: oh my god  
KARKAT: I SAID STOP LOOKING AT IT THIS FUCKING INSTANT.

Karkat shoved Dave's face away and covered his own with his other hand in a type of over-dramatic slapstick tantrum that happened at least once a week in this house, made egregiously more comical by the fact that the entire room was roughly the size of a janitors closet. 

DAVE: get urf hanj urff my faysh  
KARKAT: WHAT?

Dave took the largest floaty step backwards he could and made a show of staring directly at the ceiling, palms up and elbows bent in the body language universally understood by bros to mean _woah, dude, calm the hell down._

DAVE: okay clearly youre having some new kind of dysmorphic panic attack or something  
DAVE: but its fine well figure it out k?

Karkat stopped, and took a deep, deep breath, and realized he was grinding his teeth again. He also realized that standing next to the mirror was just pissing him off further. 

KARKAT: GIVE ME YOUR SHADES.  
DAVE: what  
DAVE: why  
KARKAT: BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE WALKING AROUND LOOKING LIKE A HUGE TOOL.  
KARKAT: NOW HAND THEM OVER, ASSHOLE.  
DAVE: you realize these are like primo fucking authentic movie memorabilia  
DAVE: i cant just fucking hand them over to anyone on a whim  
DAVE: ive had these babies on for so long my face feels naked without them  
DAVE: theyre part of my fucking identity bro  
DAVE: i cant let the masses see my beautiful face unfiltered or theyll all spontaneously combust in sheer awe  
KARKAT: I'M BEING SERIOUS.  
KARKAT: IF YOU LOVE ME YOU'LL LET ME BORROW THE FUCKING SHADES FOR A MINUTE.  
DAVE: okay but you have to leave the fucking bathroom

Dave, with an exaggerated flourish, removed his sunglasses and handed them over, indeed feeling a bit naked and blinking in the light. Karkat grabbed them unceremoniously and put them on his own face and, true to his word, scurried out.

Dave followed a little behind as he watched him go to the living room and immediately ensconce himself within a comforter they kept on the couch and then, pulling it firmly over his head, and screamed.

KARKAT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
DAVE: yeah okay i guess this is an improvement

Dave floated over and landed gently next to him, and after a moment an olive branch appeared in the form of an elbow lifting to create an opening into the impromptu fort, and he readily accepted the invitation and ducked in, sitting pretzel style in the dark. This had been expected of him, because creating impromptu forts was really what they left the blanket on the couch for in the first place, as a reasonable substitute for piles of things. 

Karkat, still wearing his sunglasses and now significantly cozier, curled up into him.

KARKAT: I GUESS,  
KARKAT: IT JUST,  
KARKAT: REALLY BOTHERS ME?  
KARKAT: I ALWAYS KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, BUT WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HAPPEN NOW?  
KARKAT: BUT IF I'M BEING HONEST WITH MYSELF I WOULD BE SAYING THAT EVEN IF IT TOOK ANOTHER 30 SWEEPS, BECAUSE I JUST DIDN'T FUCKING WANT IT TO HAPPEN. AT ALL.  
KARKAT: IF EVERYONE ON THE BLOCK IS GOING TO BE CONFRONTED WITH MY CANDY RED MUTANT STATUS EVERY TIME THEY SEE ME IT SHOULD BE BECAUSE I, PERSONALLY, FOR SOME IDIOTIC REASON, DECIDED I WANTED TO SHOW IT OFF.  
KARKAT: NOW I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER.  
KARKAT: SORRY! BIOLOGY IN ALL IT'S PERFECT WISDOM HAS DECIDED THAT YOU'RE A FUCKING IMBECILE! ALL THOSE YEARS YOU SPENT INGENIOUSLY CRAFTING AN AURA OF ANONYMITY? IN THE TRASH! ALL THOSE LOVINGLY KNITTED GRAY SWEATERS? THROW THEM IN THE FUCKING DUMPSTER, YOU ABSOLUTE SHITBAG OF COMPLETE ABJECT MORONICISM.  
KARKAT: YOU'VE BEEN OVERRULED! NOW IT'S ALL RED ALL THE TIME, MOTHERFUCKER. EAT SHIT AND LEARN TO LIKE IT.  
DAVE: i mean  
DAVE: reds not so bad is it  
DAVE: shit dude we match now dont we  
KARKAT: DON'T BE CUTE WITH ME, THAT'S DIFFERENT AND YOU KNOW IT.  
KARKAT: YOU'RE NOT A TROLL AND YOUR EYE COLOR IS WITHIN THE NORMAL RANGE FOR YOUR SPECIES.  
DAVE: its really not but yeah alright  
KARKAT: AND YES, I KNOW EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS! WE'RE WRITTEN INTO THE FUCKING HISTORY BOOKS READ BY EVERY DROOLING HUMAN, TROLL, AND CARAPACE THAT'S EVER BEEN SCHOOLFED ON THIS PLANET.  
KARKAT: LET THAT BE STATED FOR THE RECORD! KARKAT KNOWS EVERYONE ALREADY FUCKING KNOWS AND NONE OF THIS ACTUALLY MATTERS. WE CAN'T EMPHASIZE ENOUGH HOW UTTERLY FUCKING UNIMPORTANT HIS BLOOD COLOR IS, AND THAT IT IS A STUNNING REVELATION TO ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOBODY.  
KARKAT: BUT JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, OKAY?  
DAVE: that sure was a sentence  
KARKAT: WAIT, SHIT.  
DAVE: nah i get what you mean  
DAVE: that shit follows you  
DAVE: like some fucking sociocultural facehugger laid its eggs in your guts and then died  
DAVE: and its like yeah shit that one sure is dead but whatever the fuck it spawned is still running around  
DAVE: theres fucking externalities to deal with  
DAVE: theres a xenomorph in the fucking air ducts man and its full of weird murder slime we cant just ignore that  
DAVE: and then everyone dies because they didnt listen to sigourney weaver  
KARKAT: ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS, OR HAVE YOU THOROUGHLY ENTRENCHED YOURSELF IN YET ANOTHER TANGENT?  
KARKAT: NOT THAT THE CONSTANT AMBIENT DRONE OF YOU MUMBLING TO YOURSELF ABOUT SOMETHING COMPLETELY PERIPHERAL TO LITERALLY ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THAT HAS COME TO FORM THE EVER-PRESENT WHITE NOISE OF MY LIFE ISN'T COMFORTING.  
KARKAT: I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH ATTENTION I SHOULD BE PAYING THIS.  
DAVE: im fucking getting to it  
DAVE: okay so the point is  
KARKAT: THE POINT IS.........  
DAVE: the point isssss..................  
DAVE: it doesnt matter how many dumb perfect worlds we make where all our old problems dont exist anymore  
DAVE: im still gonna fucking hate puppets  
DAVE: and youre still gonna be fucking weird about your blood  
DAVE: because we spent a really long fucking time dealing with that shit when we were kids and everything was like especially prone to imprint itself on our fragile baby psyches or whatever the hell  
DAVE: of fucking course you dont wanna go outside broadcasting your blood you grew up thinking it would get you killed  
DAVE: even though rationally you know it wont anymore  
DAVE: because the thing im pretty sure about is  
DAVE: none of this shit is ever going to actually leave us  
KARKAT: WAIT A SECOND.

Karkat frowned, and suddenly sat up and disentangled himself enough to reach above both their heads and tear down the blanket fort ceiling and thrust them both into the light. He seemed to have done this to make more room to gesture emphatically, which happened to be the only type of gesturing Karkat Vantas was capable of.

KARKAT: DUDE.  
KARKAT: I GET THAT YOU'RE VALIDATING MY IRRATIONAL HANG-UPS RIGHT NOW, AND I APPRECIATE IT, BUT THAT'S FATALISTIC AS HELL.  
KARKAT: "YES, KARKAT, YOUR BEHAVIOR MAKES PERFECT SENSE IN LIGHT OF YOUR GARBAGE ADOLESCENCE SPENT IN A CONSTANT STATE OF PRECARIOUS TERROR. IN FACT, YOU'LL PROBABLY BE LIKE THIS FOREVER!"  
KARKAT: THANKS FOR THE SHOW OF CONFIDENCE!  
DAVE: okay fine maybe not forever  
DAVE: but i mean its normal for us to still be fucked up about this stuff  
DAVE: and it would be normal if we were still fucked up about it when were like 40 or whatever  
DAVE: because that shit wasnt irrational at the time it was fucking life or death  
DAVE: and theres no way your brain is gonna let go of it that easily  
KARKAT: BECAUSE OF SIGOURNEY WEAVER?  
DAVE: yes  
DAVE: sigourney weaver is absolutely fucking essential to understanding this  
DAVE: hey did alternia have their own version of that movie  
KARKAT: NO, WE DIDN'T MAKE MOVIES WHERE ALL THE ALIENS ARE EVIL PARASITES THAT EAT PEOPLE, BECAUSE WE'RE NOT FUCKING RACIST.  
KARKAT: EVEN IF IT IS NATURAL FOR ME TO BE "FUCKED UP" ABOUT IT, KNOWING THAT DOESN'T ACTUALLY HELP ME.  
KARKAT: GREAT! THE FACT THAT I HATE EVERY SECOND OF WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME IS JUSTIFIED. NOW WHAT?  
DAVE: dunno  
DAVE: i think you just kinda live your life  
DAVE: unless you wanna wear my shades forever  
DAVE: you look adorable in them btw  
KARKAT: YOU'RE GAY.  
DAVE: i still refuse to accept you understand the full cultural implications of saying that  
KARKAT: AND I CONTINUE TO INSIST MY GRASP OF THEM IS NUANCED AND COMPREHENSIVE.  
KARKAT: IN THIS CASE I'M JUST SAYING IT BECAUSE IT ALWAYS MAKES YOU GRIN LIKE AN IDIOT.

Karkat removed the sunglasses and folded them neatly. He could see his reflection in the mirror coat. Round cheeks that made him look much younger than 10 sweeps, a stubborn overbite, thick messy hair, and deep dark raccoon circles beneath his eyes. Ones that now had a thin but very noticeable ring of red around the pupil. It would never pass for maroon, or orange, or anything else. It was too bright, too conspicuous, too striking, too clear. Immediately obvious for what it was to anyone who saw it. 

DAVE: honestly i think they look kinda nice  
KARKAT: NEVER FUCKING SAY THAT TO ME EVER AGAIN, AND I MEAN THAT.

He dropped the glasses in Dave's lap and stood up.

KARKAT: C'MON, LET'S GO.  
DAVE: where are we going  
KARKAT: TO GET BREAKFAST, I'M FUCKING STARVING.  
DAVE: i thought you didnt wanna go outside  
KARKAT: OH, I'M GOING OUTSIDE.  
KARKAT: WE'LL GO OUTSIDE, AND ABSOLUTELY NOBODY IS GOING TO BRING IT UP OR DRAW ANY ATTENTION AT ALL TO ANYTHING THAT MAY HAVE RECENTLY CHANGED ABOUT MY APPEARANCE.  
KARKAT: AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO HAPPEN UPON ANYONE WE KNOW, AND IF WE DO, THEY ARE ALSO NOT GOING TO MENTION IT AT ALL.  
KARKAT: NOT A SINGLE GODDAMN WORD. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING REMARKABLE HAS HAPPENED, SO NO ONE IS GOING TO FUCKING REMARK. WE'RE JUST GONNA CARRY RIGHT THE FUCK ON.  
DAVE: hell yeah  
DAVE: what if someone does though  
DAVE: because i wanna make sure youre not gonna have a fucking mental breakdown at ihop  
KARKAT: THEN WE DIDN'T FUCKING HEAR THEM. WE ARE FUCKING DEAF TO ANY AND ALL ATTEMPTS TO BROACH THE SUBJECT.  
KARKAT: ALSO, WE ARE NOT GOING TO IHOP, I HATE THEM. YOU HAVE THE WORST FUCKING TASTE IN RESTAURANTS.  
DAVE: lmao  
DAVE: dont worry dude  
DAVE: no ones gonna say anything  
DAVE: ill run interference if they do  
DAVE: itll be fine

It would take a while to get used to his reflection. But as far as breakfast goes, nobody said a word.

**Author's Note:**

> This was intended as a sort of spiritual sequel to Lesson Plan, and ended up being like twice as long, mostly because both these boys are physically incapable of ever getting to the point. I've never tried anything with this much of a focus on Karkat, because I find getting his voice right super intimidating. I hope my profanity is colorful enough.


End file.
